Recently, I went on a cross country (more like cross county, I suppose) tractor drive to pick up a new-to-us drill. I think I crossed three counties. It only took about an hour and half to get there. Then pulled the drill back home. I traveled a lot of roads I had never been on before. It’s surprising to me how similar everywhere is. Not the land or the operations, but the evidence of time gone by.
People and companies sell us on the idea that we need more to be successful or happy. Build the bigger house, buy the bigger equipment, get the fancier car. It was evidenced on my drive today that all things come to an end.
Our farm has kept getting bigger and bigger, but with the same number of workers. My husband is the energizer bunny. He loves what he’s doing and is so excited to wake up to do it. He would work 18 hours a day if he could. If he could figure out how to streamline sleep and IV food, we could increase that to 23.75 hours. All rough numbers, of course.
My dream isn’t the farm. My dream is a happy life. I married my husband right out of college and started working on the farm with him and his parents. I do what I do for him. If he decided one day that he all of a sudden he no longer wanted to be a farmer and rancher, I would be sad. I have invested over a decade farming and ranching beside him on the farm. I have made sacrifices and done things I never wanted to do. But I fully believe that we would be fine. We would figure it out together, and I could be happy.
If he woke up and decided he was done with me, I would have a very hard time getting over it. I’m only human so cannot predict the future, but I firmly believe in our marriage and am pretty sure that we will be together for ever. If only because we’re both stubborn.
With all that said, I spend hours upon hours working on the farm with him, regardless that it’s not my passion and doesn’t fill my love tank. We’re continually working on him about doing the things away from the farm that does make me happy. My husband, Matt, is a good man. He tries. The problem is time. There just isn’t enough time to keep up with everything. We could have four people working 24/7 and still have things that are not done in five years. It’s a continual juggling act and figuring out which balls to let fall out of rotation to pick up later.
It’s hard to rest and relax when there’s always a list to do.
With that said, time is getting more and more precious. The bigger we get, the more efficient we need to become. It’s important that every hour is as productive as it can be so that we can have time away. Matt can fix anything, but should he fix everything. We’ve really had to focus on the most precious commodity Matt has, his time. Just because he can do it, does it mean he should? Maybe we should outsource.
There’s a point that equipment is too big or too expensive, but we’re also finding that getting a little bigger equipment really helps maximize the hours working. We are incorporating regenerative agriculture practices and believe in drilling cover crops in all our acres. If we’re going to be drilling, we may as well be drilling with a 40-foot drill than with a 15-foot drill. It’s important to get as much done as we can while we’re doing it.
On my drive, I noticed numerous old houses on old farmsteads. I noticed lots of iron in tree rows no longer in use. It was a reminder that we’re not immortal. I thought about all of the hours I spend in our house, trying to keep it clean. I thought about all the hours Matt spends maintaining equipment and working to keep it going. Somebody else may move in to our house once we’re gone. The equipment may or may not outlast us. But eventually, someone is going to decide it’s no longer worth it to upkeep. Or it’s no longer big enough or efficient enough or whatever else and it’s going to sit empty and neglected. Animals are going to move in and make it their space.
This is the circle of life. I don’t mean it to be a downer. It was just a reality check for me. Life is so very, very short. Do the things that make you happy. Tell the ones you love how you feel. Don’t buy in to the idea that more is better, just because someone is selling that. Buy in to the idea that you get to decide what is and what is not worth it in the moment.
Kelsey Pagel is a Kansas farmer. She grew up on a cow/calf and row crop operation and married into another. Kelsey and her Forever (Matt) farm and ranch with his family where they are living their dream and loving most of the moments.
