Life is always throwing twists and turns on the farm. A farmer or rancher wears many hats, both literally and figuratively. There are many versatile roles to be had, such as being a meteorologist, optimist, animal caregiver, economist, agronomist, and repair man, to name a few. That’s why it can be so easy to come up with ways to tell if someone is a farmer.
Considering the farm life can be so quirky, here is a list based off some of the oddball parts of farm life, as inspired by the famous “You might be a redneck if …” lists by Jeff Foxworthy.
You might be a farmer if …
- You have a six-figure price tag on your tractor but your truck will hardly start.
- There’s evidence that mice have been in your home, and you spend a small fortune trying to get rid of them.
- You use duct tape instead of band aids to cover your cuts.
- There’s always remnants of grain or hay in your washer/dryer.
- Your idea of a social event is an auction.
- You always turn up the radio during the morning markets, noon news, and afternoon closing market announcements. Your mood can vary based purely on how the markets are doing that day.
- You have your tire repair man on speed dial. (Or any repair man for that matter!)
- You’ve gone in the ditch looking at your neighbors’ crops.
- You hear the word “elevator” and think of selling grain, not tall buildings.
- You own many animals but none of them have names.
- You take more pictures of animals than people. (And probably enjoy spending more time with animals than people.)
- You own a ton of hats (mostly free) but continue to wear the same one or two of them.
- You own bib overalls. They’re rarely clean.
- You’ve had to pull over when random stuff blows out the back of your pickup.
- Your dog rides in your truck more than your spouse does.
- You’ve used leaves or corn husks as toilet paper on multiple occasions.
- There can always be a random syringe or two found in the pickup.
- Social events revolve around the farm. The farm always comes first!
- Christmas morning doesn’t start and presents aren’t opened until after chores are done and cows are milked!
- Traces of manure can be found in any vehicle you own.
- If you were usually late to school because of chores and caring for livestock.
- If your tractor has working heating and A/C but your truck doesn’t.
- Your idea of a babysitter is putting your child in the tractor seat to fall asleep.
- You don’t sleep for weeks during lambing or calving time.
- You have to have all of your neighbors’ phone numbers to let them know their cows are out. And yes, they WILL get out.
- You’ve watched “The Bachelor,” but only because you wanted to see his farm.
- You consider John Deere to be a designer clothing label.
Do you have an idea of something to add to this list?
Michelle Miller, the Farm Babe, is an Iowa-based farmer, public speaker and writer, who lives and works with her boyfriend on their farm which consists of row crops, beef cattle, and sheep. She believes education is key in bridging the gap between farmers and consumers.
