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California winemaker helps fellow veterans push back against PTSD

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In Los Alamos, California, just two hours north of Los Angeles, a former major in the U.S. Air Force is using his winery as a platform to help advocate for veterans struggling with PTSD.

The initiative grew out of his own mental health difficulties related to being stationed for a short while in Baghdad, Iraq, in 2003.

“I knew something was wrong, but I suppressed it for years,” said Jason Mergenov. “I felt I didn’t have the right to PTSD because I spent so little time in Baghdad.”

According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, about 7 percent of veterans deal with PTSD, which lasts long after their service ends. To put that percentage in perspective, more than 1.5 million soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines had been deployed to Iraq between March 20, 2003, and Dec. 18, 2011.

PTSD generally affects those who have gone through or seen a life-threatening event, and that can lead to difficulties sleeping, an aversion to trigger cues like loud noises and crowds, and many other factors that can disrupt their daily lives and impact relationships.

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Jason Mergenov joined the Air Force ROTC while in college and went on to a long career in the military. (Image courtesy of Jason Mergenov)

Mergenov followed in his father’s footsteps by joining the Air Force. He attended University of Central Florida, graduating in 1991 with a degree in economics. There, he joined the Air Force ROTC.

“I always loved flying. I wanted to be a pilot or a navigator, but I ended up becoming an ICBM missile launch officer,” he said.

Originally from Ohio and raised in Florida, his training brought him to Vandenberg, California, near Santa Barbara. In 1992. At only 22 years old, Mergenov arrived from Florida and was introduced to the wine country and Santa Maria-style BBQ, embracing the local lifestyle.

While in the Vanderberg Air Force base, Mergenov began to interact with local winemakers. After realizing that his local community college, Allan Hancock College, offered an enology and viticulture degree, he decided to take a few classes starting in late 2011, while he was still active duty.

“I was on my way out of the military and didn’t know what I was going to do. I told my wine take an intro course and a weekend winemaking course,” Mergenov said. “I did a semester and absolutely fell in love with it. This is exactly what I want to do.”

After retiring from the U.S. Air Force in 2013, he used his GI Bill to attend college full-time. By 2015, he had earned an associate degree in Enology and Viticulture, as well as an associate’s in Culinary Arts.

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“I wanted to blend my military background with my love for winemaking,” said Jason Mergenov. (Image courtesy of Jason Mergenov)

In 2020, while disgorging his sparkling wine — a process that involves removing a crown cap under pressure — Mergenov experienced a flashback triggered by the loud popping sound of the bottle.

“We were in a cold room, refrigerated to 50 degrees, but suddenly I felt like it was 95 degrees, and I thought I was back in Iraq,” he explained.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, Mergenov’s PTSD and depression reached a tipping point. It was then that he decided he needed help.

A strong advocate for mental health, Mergenov emphasizes that “the stigma around mental health holds many people back from seeking help.”

“In December of 2021, I hit rock bottom and almost didn’t survive the year. That’s when I realized, damn it, I needed help, and I went to the Vandenberg hospital,” he said, referring to the Vandenberg Space Force Base’s VA clinic.

“I was having suicidal ideations. I needed help. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know what was going on,” he explained.

Mergenov’s therapist recommended the Home Base program, a Boston-based nonprofit that operates predominantly on the philanthropic generosity of the Red Sox Foundation and Massachusetts General Hospital.

Founded in 2009, it’s the “first and largest private sector clinic in America, and the only private sector clinic in New England, devoted to providing lifesaving clinical care and support for the treatment of invisible wounds,” according to the Home Base website.

Mergenov — worried about his future — decided to participate in the program.

“It’s a two-week intensive program. All expenses are covered,” he said. “They fly you out there and put you in a Marriott residence. It’s two weeks of intensive therapy. It was amazing, it literally saved and changed my life.”

After his trip to Boston, Mergenov realized he wanted to be open about his PTSD.

Mergnov says that most of the other verterans at the Home Base were Special Forces, Navy SEALs, and Green Berets. Despite seeing combat for only a brief time, his fellow veterans supported him. He learned that “everyone’s trauma is valid and you cant compare your trauma to anybody else’s.”

 
 
 
 
 
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“I realized I can’t hide this anymore,” he said. “I have to be open about it, so I started talking about it on Instagram, and that’s where I got into advocating for mental health.”

Mergonov says that since he started openly talking about his struggles with PTSD on social media, he’s had an influx of messages, not only from veterans but also civilians who are also struggling with PTSD.

“I’ve realized that this [PTSD] isn’t just a veteran thing, its a civilian thing, its a human thing,” he said. “There are so many people out there that struggle. I tell people, ask your friends, ask your family, ‘How are you doing?’ and be prepared to have a conversation.”

Having a project or a business to pour oneself into helps, too. That’s partly why Mergenov is appreciative of the growth of his wine enterprise, which really began back in 2015. At that time, Mergenov and a friend started making wine out of a horse barn from and quickly realized they were making too much wine for personal consumption and couldn’t sell it. They decided to go commercial in 2017.

Now, Mergenov produces about 600 cases annually under his label, Rockets Red Wine, focusing on pinot noir, grenache, cabernet sauvignon, and chardonnay.

“I wanted to blend my military background with my love for winemaking. The name Rockets Red Wine comes from the line ‘rockets’ red glare’ in the Star-Spangled Banner.”

Mergonov says he was crushing grapes in 2018 when suddenly, the name came to him. His first labels featured photos of missile launches.

Inspired by the space shuttle program, his labels include rocket terminology. His pét-nat, a naturally sparkling wine, features the phrase “pop cap,” while other bottles say “pull cork,” both references to the space shuttle’s hatch.

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Jason Mergenov has struggled with PTSD for years. (Image courtesy of Jason Mergenov)

Mergenov also produces a wine he calls Rockets Red Resilience Pinot Noir, paying homage to his fellow veterans who have PTSD. A portion of his sales is donated to Home Base.

Mergenov described his time after therapy as “post-traumatic growth.” 

“Winemaking is very therapeutic. You’re out there creating something and making something for others to enjoy. Being out in the vineyard, being in the winery, it’s an amazing feeling. It’s not an escape, but it’s a way to clear my mind,” he said.


David Salazar serves as the 2024 American Farmland Trust Agriculture Communications Intern at AGDAILY, with a focus on helping to amplify diversity and minority voices in agriculture. David is originally from King City, California, and attended the University of California, Fresno, as a first-generation college student. He received a bachelor’s degree in viticulture and enology and has worked in California’s premier wine producing regions.

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